letting go

Written by Alex Tower Ewers

One of the greatest lessons of motherhood is learning non-attachment: to schedules and things how they used to be, to being on time or keeping commitments, to how things are supposed to be.

A Google search will provide a list of websites that promise answers to even the most absurd of parenting issues. At the end of the day, whether you sleep train your baby or co-sleep, they inevitably will sleep on their own. The better thing to learn is how to deal with the need to do “it” right, every time.

Take the book Momma Zen by Karen Maezen Miller. Full of wisdom and wit, the most important lesson is Chapter 4, because it is about making mistakes.

Most people want to do things right. It is one thing to do things right for you. It is a whole other animal to do things right for your baby. It starts with pre-natal vitamins. And with all the information and choices, parents think that if they do enough research, ask the right questions and spend enough money they will do what is right and perfect for their babies.

Until they make a mistake. Until the baby falls down the stairs because they left the gate open. Until the baby cries because the bite of sweet potato mom gave him was too hot. Until dad locks baby in the car with the motor running because he is doing too many things as the same time.

Parents make mistakes. And they may never know the consequences of those mistakes, but perhaps they are as much a part of their child's learning experiences as the triumphs. Miller writes, "Practice acceptance on yourself so that you can be kinder to your child." Practice acceptance for all that is imperfect, exactly the way it is.